Don’t mixed up potions: a cautionary tale
by DepressedOptimisic
Summary: What happens when aphrodisiac gets into a batch of allergy potion? One rabid mediwitch that’s what. Read to see Pomona Sprout ravaged by her wife and see a whole new meaning to good medicine Minerva McDore lended out Apollo McDore and the rest belongs to


Don't mixed up potions: a cautionary tale  
Don't mixed up potions:a cautionary tale

It was a lovely may morning when Poppy Sprout-Pompfry woke up. The sun was shinning the trees were in bloom and she could hear the shower running. She rolled over slowly blinking at the sunlight streaming through the window and tried to find the energy to get up. A cup of coffee sat on her nightstand still steaming from the warming spell her loving wife had placed on it.

Ah, this is the life she thought. only if I didn't have to deal with students who are determined to either break their necks or turn the last few blond hairs I have white.

She swung her feet to the floor and shivered as she picked up the cup. She drank deeply and sighed. The sigh lengthened when she tried to muffled the squeak from the bathroom.

Pommie paused for a second and asked,

"Honey, Min didn't turn you into a mouse, right?"

"Erm I'm fine. Just when the little ones were over last night we missed one of their rubberducks. I kind of almost slipped on it. It was so good to have the grandkids over. I like having an excuse to use the rubber ducks."

Pomona laughed.

"Baby you never need an excuse to use rubber ducks with me"

Poppy's eyebrow rose at the comment and she went into the bathroom stripping off her nightshirt as she came in. she smiled evilly and slid into the shower behind her wife.

Before she could truly begin any fun, Poppy was suddenly begun to sneeze.

Alarmed, Pommie turned to her wife.

"Aphrodite, are you coming down with something? You know it's not good when the nurse is sick"

"No darling I'm fine. Just a tickle. I'll take something for it in a bit.

Dubiously Pommie replied, "You're the nurse."

Poppy mentally calculated the days. It was 28 days since she had last taken her allergy potion. It must have worn off early. She cursed and tried not to sneeze again.  
Luckily she keeps a bountiful supply. It was rotten luck to fall in love with the herbology teacher. But then again, Poppy grinned as Pommie left the shower to get dress. Pommie caught that look and sternly said, "No I cannot teach nude just to fulfill your fantasies." Poppy pouted.

"Call your nephew and get some more potions."

"Potion?" Poppy looked worriedly at the door. She had never told her wife about her little problem. It was embarrassing.

"I know about your problem. We've been married for over thirty years. You start sneeze in March and don't stop until November. You took twenty handkerchiefs on our honeymoon in August! Get the damn potion"

Poppy looked sheepish.

She opened her mouth to argue that she did not have a problem and to her misery she began to violently sneeze. Pain wracked through her as her ribs protested at this horrid treatment

"You want to protest?"

She fought out a weak no in between sneezes. She couldn't seem to stop. She looked at Pommie in between sneezes and hoarsely whispered "love you flower.'

"I love you, too. Call Apollo."

Poppy smiled weakly.

"Perhaps a steam bath would help clear up my sinuses. I think I will call Pol to cover for me."

"Good love. I'll tell Minerva and Albus. Now I've got to go." Pommie gently kissed her forehead. Which cause another sneezing fit.

"Oh dear. I think this might be a part of the problem."

Poppy whined like a child and said "no I'll be fine. I just need my potion."

Pomona smiled wickly. "You couldn't live without me for an hour could you?"

"Yes I could I just love you" Poppy pouted.

"I got to go to breakfast. Rest. I'll tell Minerva and Albus. Read that true crime book about Ian the murderous magician."

"Need call Apo first. If I don't one of the darling villains who try to steal my sanity will no doubt kill them. And I don't wanna fill out that much paperwork."

"You do that."

"Visit me at lunch." Poppy tried the puppy look that the children had so often used on Pommie when small.

"You know that look didn't work on me with the kids. Why do you think it will work now?"

"Because you love me." Poppy sighed and wrapped a robe around her. She wobbled over to the fireplace pouting. 

"Apollo?"

"Aunt Poppy you look horrible."

"No really. Its that time of month."

Apollo paused for a second; did he really want to hear about his Aunt's menstrual cycle? "What can I do to help?"

"I need an antihistamine potion."

Apollo exclaimed with relief, "oh! Yes right away. Which strength do you need?"

"The stronger the better."

"Pain living with Aunt Pommie, isn't it?" Apollo asked sympathically. 

"It has its' benefit." Poppy replied.

"Like what? Apollo was making conversation as he searched for the potion.

Poppy blushed. "Ummm...herbs for healing potions."

"Sure, sure. The one hundred and some different aphrodisiacs she grows in those  
greenhouses are just for show. Uh oh."

"What?" Poppy asked cautiously

"I seem to be out of all antihistamines."

He paused and groaned, "Even the muggle ones."

"What! Apollo Tam Abeforth McGonagall-Dumbledore you're kidding, right? I live with the herbology professor!"

"I don't have any Aunt Poppy. I'm sorry. Let me check and see if anyone else has any stockpiled. I'll floo right back."

Apollo gulped and went to see if his coworkers had any potion. He returned a moment later to see Poppy pacing. Poppy could be dangerous. Witches after menopause get power surges.

"We've got a problem. It seems doxy droppies got into the whole of the hospital stock and we're ordering from other sources. We won't have any available for a week or more."

He cowered and hoped his parents gave him a nice funeral.

Poppy took a deep breath, "why don't you look for one of lesser strength?" while trying to figure out where she could live for three months.

"I did Aunt Poppy but they infected the whole stock."

He waited for the explosion.

"Fine. Don't worry about it. I'll figure something out." Sev owes me.

"Okay. I'll call you as soon as we get the potion in. Need anything else?"

"A wife who teaches something other than herbology."

"Anything else?" Apollo didn't comment because he valued his limbs and knew from experience that Aphrodite Clara Sprout- Pomfrey could reduce a man to a shivering ball of cursed goo in moments.

"Go and ask Uncle Sev."

" Uncle Sev?" Poppy asked 

"I'm a Gryffindor I have to annoy him somehow."

"Good lad. You could do me one favor. Take over hospital wing duty for a few days. I can't function with these bloody allergies."

"You might want to consider moving out of your chambers."

Poppy stare at him in horror.

"We're going to have you tell her that."

"But... but... but she'll kill me."

"Well, your parents will still have Rory."

Apollo stared at Poppy mouth agape and eyes wide. He began muttering.

"Well your allergies can't be that bad can they. I mean really just a little sneezing is no big deal."

"Apollo, I can't breathe with all the bile in my lungs! Breathing is important. How did you almost get into Ravenclaw?"

Apollo's face turned concerned.

"That bad. Why haven't you used a charm then?"

"I didn't think of it"

"My Aunt the ravenclaw."

Poppy glared at him.

"Try allergia nons"

She muttered the charm and return to bed.

Apollo packed and flooed to his dad's office. He dropped his bags in his normal quarters off his parent's rooms and went to check on his Aunt.

"Aunt Poppy?"

"What?"

"Damn you sound even worse"

"Before you even suggest it, I'm not getting a divorce!"

"What?" Apollo looked confused at the lump in the bed that was in theory his Aunt.

"I'm married to Pommie for better or worse in sickness and in...achoo"

"You used the charm right?"

"Of course. It's just there's dirt with pollen all over"

"Let's take a look at you and see what we can do?"

"Um, I think there's a new allergy. You haven't been hanging around my mother, have you?"

"Yes she was in here last night when we had the grandkids over."

"Was she Tabby?"

"Of course. The little loves playing with Tabby and you know how your mother always indulges them."

"Aunt Poppy, I think you are allergic to my mom."

"What?" Poppy sat up in bed uncovering her head to stare in disbelief at her favorite nephew.

"Well, Aunt Pommie will be relieved." Apollo grinned weakly.

Poppy put her head in hands and fought the miserable urge to cry.

"What am I going to do Apo?"

"Stop hanging around with cats and pamper Aunt Pommie?"

"Not funny young man."

"All right, all right. Ask Severus to add mom's hair to the potion. Then talk to Aunt Pommie."

"Okay. Now I just have to remember where I put my legs."

"Your legs?"

"They seem to have disconnected from my body. Have you seen them?" The look Poppy gave Apollo was slightly glazed.

"Um, you better rest. I'll see you later. Tell Pommie it was the pussy not her."

"You better clarify which pussy." Apollo turned bright red.

Poppy giggled and this caused Apollo to look at her worried. His Aunt did not giggle. Ever.

"Oh, god. I messed up and put an aphrodisiac in the potion."

"I love the pussy. Yes yes just not the cat!"

"Um, I'm leaving now!" Apollo made a hasty exit. He ran from the room all the way to the dungeons knowing he was so dead. He needed help and Severus Snape was his only choice.

Apollo raced down the stairs towards the dungeons, not realizing he didn't know the pass word which was the hawk flies at midnight. He tried to forget his situation with very little hope.

Severus Snape was sitting rather exhausted in front of his work table contemplating what potion he would start next

Ah, he thought, Xiomara was complaining about the massage oil we used last night was too greasy. I knew it was a bad idea to use the same cauldron for it as my hair gel.

He heard pounding footsteps even through the thick door and felt a moment of fear had Xiomara gotten injured

It was his boggart's form although his nightmares reek of Voldemort.

"Ah Apollo it's you. What do you want?"

"I have a really big problem. It's Aunt Poppy."

"What about Poppy?" Severus asked.

"She and Aunt Pommie were um, getting, um, well,"

"For Merlin's sake man, spit it out"

"Sex and Aunt Poppy is allergic to pussy"

"Sex?"

"And now she is rabid maniac."

"Pussy? Apollo, she has been deal with pussy since before either one of us was born."

Apollo blushed so much he would've made a Weasley jealous

"I mean your mother..."

"Aunt Poppy is allergic to mom: and I uh kindaputanaphrodisiacinherallergypotion"

"How strong of one? And why were you dealing with aphrodisiac? Is your sex 

lifes that bad?" Severus sneered

Apollo fought the urge to curl into a tiny ball (It was a norm reaction when dealing with Severus) and then a devilish ideal occurred to him.

"Help me or I'll tell your darling wife about why you had to go visit St. Mungos after your honeymoon. I am sure she would love to know that she nearly dismanned you"

Severus swallowed hard. It was true that the kinky things Xiomara did to him when she got in a creative mood endanger his life but particularly one area of his body he was fond of.

"So what were you saying about helping me Severus?"

"I'll brew up a potion immediately. There will be no need to mention this to your Aunt Mara."

"Thanks I am really worried about her"  
"  
It will be ready in ten minutes. How did you get involve with this anyway?"

"She called me. She is having a horrid allergy attack and she is out of potion. And St Mungos stock as you may have heard met with doxies"

"Well, it is Tuesday night. She and Pommie usually..."

"No, man, I don't want to hear it."

"Why not? Usually it's a fantasy for most men two women together"

"They are like second mothers to me. Gross!"

"Besides, they're kind of old."

"Hey my wife's the same age."

"Yes but all that quidditch."

"Wait what are your saying about my wife?" Severus' eyes flash dangerously.

"That she looks absolutely wonderful at your side"

Apollo knew he was on dangerous ground He decided to grab the finished potion and escape. But he underestimated the danger of the situation that awaits him. He went a bit slower then his initial place back to his Aunts' rooms He heard screams as he got nearer to the door. Pommie had come back to the room and was now held hostage to the whims of the mediwitch. Apollo wondered how far he could apparate before remembering you couldn't apparate on Hogwarts grounds. He wished he was a Ravenclaw because he knew a Ravenclaw would turn around. But alas, he was a Gryffindor. A sadly stupid Gryffindor.

He tried to call up all of his Gryffindorness and went into the room

"Umm...I'm just gonna to leave this here. I hope you feel better Aunt Poppy." He said with his eyes firmly shut.

A scream answered him.

He muttered, "You sound like you feel better already."

"Help me you idiot or I swear Minerva will have to rely on Rory for grandchildren!"

Apollo assumed idiot was said with love. Pommie was on the floor being held down with ropes. He was secretly awed by the flexibility of the older woman but he didn't see Aunt Poppy anywhere which was worrying

Suddenly he heard a low growl coming from behind him. He turned around as Poppy leapt at him tackling him growling 'mine!' in a horribly and terrifyingly possessive manner.

Pommie broke the ropes, (which they used surprisly often) and grabbed her wand and whispered a spell. Poppy became still and Apollo looked up terrified from underneath the naked mediwitch

"Aunt Pommie?" He whispered as Apollo thanks whatever gods were listening that his Aunt put on a robe.

"Sorry about that." Pommie said as she fought off a grin.

"Is is she..."

Pommie rolled her eyes.

"It was fun the first six times but by the seventh..."

"Seventh?" Apollo asked inwardly cringing

"Orgasms sweetie. I'm sure you learned about them in school. You bring a potion for her."

"Yes...wow at your age, that's ..."

"Yeah, well, it was a slow night."

Pommie watched Apollo's eyes roll back in his head as he joined his Aunt in unconscious oblivion. She shook her head and retrieved the potions bottle from his hand.  
She smiled wickedly as she sent Apollo to his parents' sitting room and contemplates what the most creative way to wake Poppy up was.

Pommie leaned forward and kissed Poppy's already swollen lips lightly. Poppy smiled and deepen the kiss, her hand reaching lower and lower. Pommie lightly slapped it and smiled against Poppy's lips

"Not at the moment love. I have something you need to drink first"

"I know what I need." Poppy whined, her hand reaching Pommie's thighs

"No, drink this" She smiled. "Then if you're a good girl you get to play"

"I thought you like when I was a bad girl." Her hands moving closer to the center.

Pommie gasped and tried to keep focused. Poppy with aphrodisiacs was dangerous.  
Hell, Poppy with half bottle of wine was dangerous

"Let's play a game" Pommie whispered. She opened the bottle and pours some potion on her stomach. Poppy purred dangerously sliding down Pommie's body licking and nipping. Her mouth caught on a nipple and Pommie thought she was going to die. Pommie knew she had to regain control of the situation. She rolled them over and tied Poppy to the bed.

Poppy growled not liking to be the submissive. Pommie laughed at her wife's frustrations. And they think I'm a pushover. Poppy bucked and managed to wrap her legs around Pommie's waist

"Yes? Do you want something?" Pommie asked innocently.

Poppy gave a bestial howl and ground against Pommie

Merlin, she is going to leave bruises. Pommie thought as she stroke the nearest breast.  
Poppy reached her peak quickly and before Pommie knew the ropes broke and Poppy was looking down at her with an insane grin.

"Your turn?"

Pommie smiled thinking

"Yes darling and I have one request. Lick my stomach darling"

"Anything for the flower queen."

Poppy licked Pommie's stomach but before long got distracted by an area slightly below.

" No, lick my stomach now commoner" Pommie demanded.

Poppy whined. "But I want..."

"Later, love."

Poppy licked Pommie's stomach and slowly the licking became a little calmer and Pommie looked down

"Good girl." Pommie sighed, undoing Poppy's braid. Poppy laid her head on Pommie's stomach for a second, just breathing and then smile.

"How do you feel sweetheart?"

Poppy just looked at her daze.

"Sweetie can you hear me?"

Poppy looked at her if trying to remember something. Her eyes lit up and she   
began the journey back down Pommie's stomach.

"More than all right" was the muffled response.

"Not right now love. I'm hurting. You were really rough. Especially with poor Apollo."

Poppy pouted.

"That won't help. I need you to do something for me then we'll see"

"Anything." Poppy's eyes flashed dangerously again and Pommie shuddered.

" Drink this down for me"

Pommie held the bottle to Poppy's lips, rolling over and straddling her hips

"Drink"

Poppy began to play with some flyaway curls. "nuh-ah." she said playfully.

"Poppy you need this."

"Why?"

"It will make it so you can remember this afterwards"

"You can remind me." With this she reached up and took Pommie's left breast in her mouth.

Pommie groaned and knew she was going to have to do this physically. She grabbed Poppy's chin and forced her head back capturing Poppy's mouth with her own

"I thought I told you to be good." She growled "you will do this or no sex for a month."

Poppy laughed. "You couldn't last a week!"

"I can cover myself in pollen and you won't be able to get near me without having an attack."

Poppy paused, scared. "You wouldn't do that." Her eyes wide.

"Yes I will"

Pommie decided to offer the potion again. Pouring it on her hand she turns her hand over and offers it to Poppy. Poppy licks at it eagerly, not wanting Pommie angry at her, eyes full of terror at being treated so badly.

"My good girl." Pommie purrs.

Poppy's eyes take on an odd unfocused look. , just lying on the bed, watching Pommie with glazed eyes. Pommie moved around restlessly. Pommie looked at her wife and sighed. This was a problem. She was incredibly aroused and didn't particularly want to finish this alone. Especially when her wife was available but just a bit out of it. Pommie realized how more fun it would if Poppy how fully participates. She smiled wickedly as she decided it was her turn to play the mediwitch in the relationship.

Pommie thought for a moment and then detangled herself from Poppy's tight embrace. A moment later Poppy could hear the shower running.

"'ommie?" She sleepily asked. Poppy turned as she felt the bed shift.

"My love, you seem sticky." Pommie cooed, trailing her hand down Poppy's stomach, just stopping short of the one area need attention yet again.

"I wonder why." Poppy immediately tried to draw her wife's hand lower, raising her hips.

Pommie shook her head. "Mmmm, you had much more pleasure than me tonight and I don't think that's fair. You know, how Hufflepuffs feel about fairness…"

Poppy moaned. Pommie could be cruel, very cruel. No one would believe Poppy when she said that but it was true.

"….in the spirit of fairness, I think I should have the next round of pleasure, don't you?" Pommie began, uncovering herself by stripping her robes off.

"Merlin, yes!" Poppy breathed seeing for the first time that evening her wife sans the short silk pink robe she worn during the previous activities. Poppy never got around to fully undressing Pommie before attacking her.

"I'm glad you're agreeable. Now, I know we are both rather sticky both from our previous rounds and I think a shower would help, don't you?" Pommie asked, placing Poppy's hand on her stomach, slowly moving down so Poppy feel how wet she was.

"Oh! So sticky." Poppy involuntarily shuddered.

"Yes, my love. And it's getting a little uncomfortable to be in this condition. But I thought maybe you could 'unsticky' me. We both worked up a good sweat and imagine how good a hot shower would feel." Pommie began to walk towards the shower. Poppy immediately stood up and wobbly followed her wife.

Pommie begun to start to enjoy the shower's spray when she felt a kiss on her shoulder.

"You smell like roses." Poppy held the sponge just an inch from Pommie's body. She begins the washing of her wife's body, focusing on the spots she knew Pommie liked. Pommie leaned back against shower wall, lightly panting. Poppy washed her stomach, remarking,

"We need to put some bruising compound on that. I was so rough on you. Why didn't you stop me?"

"Oh, Merlin!" Pommie nearly wept with joy. "I didn't notice until you stopped. I didn't think you would do that much damage and besides I was enjoying too. It reminded me of our wild days."

"Hmmm…so you like me wild?" Poppy looked at Pommie, her eyebrows raised.

"Yes! " Pommie immediately opened her legs trying to give Poppy a hint to hurry up.

"How wild?" Poppy growled.

"Poppy, I swear if you don't…oh Merlin…please Poppy…please…" Pommie groaned.

Poppy paused and considered her options. Finally she decided a course of action. Pommie grasped the bars that magically appeared in the shower. She felt a tongue entered her which was soon joined by fingers. Bracing herself, Pommie tried to warn Poppy about the oncoming wave but soon was rendering speechless. It was always the quiet ones.

"Wow. That was…"Poppy tried to regain her breath.

"You would think after so many years…." Pommie panted.

"But you still…"

"Definitely." They realize the water was beginning to freeze them. Poppy turned off the water. She saw the time was around midnight. "Pommie, why don't we just crash for tonight? I think we should take the morning off, too."

Yawning, Pomona agreed.

"By the way, we should write a thank you note to Apollo. It made for an interesting evening." A snore answered her.

The next morning Pommie walked into the Great Hall, wincing at every step. She looked horrible.

"Professor McGonagall, I need to take the morning off. Poppy had a severe allergic reaction and I had to take care of her."

Minerva's eyebrow rose, "allergic reaction?"

Pommie nodded.

"It must be serious. I bet you were up with her all night."

"You have no idea." As Pommie limp back one could overhear conservation at the Hufflepuff table.

"Why do you suppose Professor Sprout is walking so strangely?"

"Don't ask stupid questions." Professor Snape sneered, privately amazed that Pommie could move this morning. He made a mental note to ask for tips later.


End file.
